


The Course of True Love Never Did Run Smooth.

by IronPunk



Series: BoB Shorties [3]
Category: Band of Brothers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2019-04-27 21:27:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14434419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IronPunk/pseuds/IronPunk
Summary: “Ridiculously competent and nice,” Ron finishes for him. “And dreamy and oh so handsome and…”Nix hits him with a pillow from the couch. “Shut up Mr. Lipton-Speirs. I bet you write that all over your diary at home. Mr. Ronald Lipton. Carwood Speirs. Blah blah blah.”“I don’t do that!” Ron argues. “That’s a waste of paper. And you know how I feel about typing on the computer so don’t even start.”AKA they're all idiots who can't talk about their feelings and it's glorious.





	The Course of True Love Never Did Run Smooth.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [earlofcardigans (sorelymythtaken)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sorelymythtaken/gifts).



> The representations of the men featured in Band of Brothers is based on characterizations in the show and not on the real men. No disrespect is intended.
> 
> Title is Shakespeare.

“How’s your Six Year Plan going?” Nix asks Ron during one of their weekly get coffee and pretend to have a meeting in his office get-togethers.

Ron frowns at him. “What six-year plan?”

“To marry Lip,” Nix says. “Duh.”

Ron _almost_ chokes on his coffee but has years of experience with Nix and his bullshit to just barely avoid doing it. Son of a bitch. “There is no plan.”

“Just six years of oh so slowly wooing him while you hope no one else snatches him up,” Nix snarks.

“Lip is.. Allowed to see people if that would make him happy,” Ron says flatly. He’d be heartbroken and probably end up punching like eight walls and end up in the ER but he’d deal. Eventually. Probably.

“Yeah. Sure,” Nix straight up cackles. “You _know_ he’s just waiting for you to make a move. He thinks you’re shy.”

“I’m not shy, I’m selective,” Ron replies. _Because people are giant idiot asshole babies_ is what he doesn’t say.

“And you’ve selected Lip,” Nix says.

“Can you really blame me?” Ron asks flatly.

“Nope.”

“Like you’re one to talk anyway, Lewis,” Ron says low and dangerous. “Mr. I have a crush on the guy I’ve known since we were babies and can’t tell him because I have dangerously low self esteem and won’t listen to my friends about how he’s in love with me.”

Lewis purses his lips in the way that Ron knows means that he’s right and Lew is pissy about it. They’ve been friends for slightly less time than Lewis has been friends with Dick but they are still ridiculously close. Two misunderstood assholes avoiding people’s judgment together.

“Well, you know what,” Lewis says defiantly. “I’m going to fucking woo him and then you won’t have an excuse not to lure Carwood into your den.”

Ron glares at him. “Sure. Go ahead.”

“Fine,” Lewis replies. “I’ll do that.”

“Fine,” Ron answers.

Ron can see that Lewis wants to say fine again but doesn’t want them to actually fight about this. They’ve been friends for too damned long and neither one of them want to make the effort to like other people.

Also, they’re best friends and never fight. Ron’s too busy holding grudges against other people and Lewis needs the people he likes to like him. Totally normal behavior.

~~~

“You…. gave him pens,” Ron says slowly. Lewis has done a lot of dumb shit (that Ron has laughed at), but this is just straight up incompetence.

“Yeah!” Nix says excitedly. “They’re these really nice pens he loves but won’t ever get himself.”

“And the tie pin?”

“It matches his eyes!” Nix says defensively. “It would look great on him!”

“That’s stuff a boss would get his administrator for admin’s day,” Ron huffs. “You need to get him something romantic and unrelated to office work.”

“Well, he did seem a bit confused about the gifts,” Nix concedes. “Flowers ya think? Flowers are romantic right?”

Ron only just stops himself from an aggressive facepalm. He doesn’t need to break his glasses. Again. This month. “Flowers yes. Maybe tulips. Roses are… overdone and kind of sad.”

He’s seen roses pop up on Carwood’s desk a few times over the years and he’s had to forcibly restrain himself from going over there and drop kicking them across the room. He’s an adult goddammit.

“Roses are for absent CEO husbands who forget their wives’ birthdays,” Nix agrees.

“Wives are not involved in this situation at all,” Ron says flatly. “Not with four gay men trying to get their shit together.”

“Well, maybe I have a secret wife I send roses and pens to.”

“That’s Winters,” Ron argues. “He just doesn’t know he’s married to your sorry ass yet. It’s a secret only to him.”

“You’re going to undo all the hard month of therapy I’ve done to get self-esteem,” Lewis says. Ron can tell that he’s trying to joke about it but he can hear the truth in the statement.

“You mean alcohol and self-loathing?” Ron huffs. “Or did you finally willingly volunteer to see an actual therapist?”

Nix ducks his head and runs his fingers through the back of his hair nervously. “Uh yeah. I started seeing one.”

Ron looks up at that. That’s unexpected. “Oh?”

“Yeah. Uh. Carwood actually recommended someone,” Nix admits.

Ah. Carwood used to work at a counseling center as a volunteer. If anyone could get Nix to go it’d be him. He’s a literal angel.

“That’s good,” Ron says. He tries to add some kind of inflection in his voice so that Nix knows he’s not being a sarcastic asshole about this. He probably just sounds like an actual sociopath. Like Hannibal.

“Yeah,” Nix replies quickly. “It’s. New. I didn’t want to fuck it up with Dick you know. He’s…”

“Ridiculously competent and nice,” Ron finishes for him. “And dreamy and oh so handsome and…”

Nix hits him with a pillow from the couch. “Shut up Mr. Lipton-Speirs. I bet you write that all over your diary at home. Mr. Ronald Lipton. Carwood Speirs. Blah blah blah.”

“I don’t do that!” Ron argues. “That’s a waste of paper. And you know how I feel about typing on the computer so don’t even start.”

Nix rolls his eyes. “How’s your plan going now that you actually have to do something about it?”

Ron glares at him. “It’s oh so interesting that you ask that.”

“Uh oh,” Nix says. He knows that tone of voice.

“Carwood came up to me today and asked if I wanted to go to dinner and a movie with him,” Ron says. He can feel his face light up with a smile and he kind of hates it but _Carwood_. “Like a date.”

“Really?” Lewis asks. “I thought he was going to die waiting for _you_ to ask _him.”_

“Apparently he got tired of waiting,” Ron replies. He about died of shock when Carwood came straight up to him and asked him out. He didn’t have a six-year plan but he _did_ have A plan. Carwood just kind of sped things up.

“Never took him for an impatient man.”

“Me either,” Ron admits. “But I really like it. Finally a flaw. Makes him human.”

“Okay, Mr. Robot.”

“That nickname would be funnier if I was into computers,” Ron tells him. Ron actually hates computers. He wishes they could use typewriters and carrier pigeons so he wouldn’t have to constantly chicken peck out responses to useless, brainless emails people constantly sent him.

“You could be a secret hacker none of us know about,” Nix states. “That’s kind of the point of the word secret.”

“Fuck you,” Ron says cheerfully. He’s got a God damned date to get ready for.

~~~

Lewis is sitting alone in his office dicking around with his fancy, expensive rolling chair. The swinging back and forth was soothing his frazzled nerves. He was kind of counting on him and Ron fumbling through this whole dating fiasco together but leave it to Carwood to be perfect at knowing exactly when Ron needed him to step in.

Eugh. He needed a bumbling around partner in crime so it wasn’t him just fucking up again. Maybe he could talk to Luz. It’s been four years and he still hasn’t figured out that Toye wants to set up house with him. Actually, maybe he should talk to Toye instead…

Love is hard, okay? Hard and embarrassing and awkward.

For all that he’s been friends with Dick since they were babies he still rarely knows what’s on the other man’s mind. He’s quiet and never really tells anyone what he’s really feeling. It’s so infuriating because Lewis _needs_ feedback. Otherwise, he assumes the worst and then spirals into dark thoughts.

Lewis is a washed up former alcoholic with depressive tendencies and Dick is way too good for him. He’s always torn between wanting to keep Dick at arm’s length to save him from Lew and pulling him in tight and kissing his stupid face. It’s enough to give him emotional whiplash.

After giving Dick the pens and the tie pin (Ron was right. What the fuck was he thinking?) he decides to cool it a bit. He needs to regroup and make sure he’s not self-sabotaging. He’s not being a coward, he’s being smart and organized. Adult stuff.  
  
“So Carwood finally made a move,” a voice says out of nowhere.

Lewis startles and almost hits his knee on the underside of his desk. “Jesus, Dick. You almost gave me a heart attack.”

“Sorry, sir,” Dick says dryly. He’s doing that thing where he’s trying to keep a serious face when he really just wants to laugh. Eugh it’s so cute.

“Knock it off,” Lewis replies as Dick sits across from him. “Thought I trained you out of that years ago.”

“Old habits die hard.”

“You’re telling me,” Lewis says mopily. He hopes he doesn’t sound too self-deprecating. Dick hates that.

“I was wondering which one of them was going to make a move first,” Dick continues. “Two patient, stubborn guys.”

“My money was on Ron,” Lewis admitted. “He had a Capital P Plan. He just needed to follow it.”

Dick smirks. “Carwood completely knew about that by the way. I think it’s finally why he gave in and made the first move.”

“Tired of waiting for the inevitable?”

“Tired of not being with Ron while Ron moves slower than a romantic lead in a Jane Austen novel.”

“Fair enough,” Lewis says. Ron would maybe be Mister Darcy. If you squinted a bit. Lewis could see it. Does that make Carwood Elizabeth Bennet? Lewis is for sure not Jane. He’s more like...

“You know who else has a plan?” Dick asks, interrupting his rambling thoughts.  

Lewis has no idea what he’s talking about. “No?”

“Me,” Dick says.

Lewis’ stomach drops. Here it comes; Dick’s rejection. He’s been in love with someone else for years and now he’s going to make a move.

“Oh?” Lewis asks. He really hopes he sounds nonchalant and not like a heartbroken disaster.

“Yeah,” Dick admits. “I think I’m going to abandon it.”

“Never took you for a quitter,” Lewis says emotionlessly.

“Not quitting,” Dick says. “Just accelerating the pacing quite a bit.”

“That’s great, Dick.” Lewis’ stomach is tied in knots. He’s afraid Dick is going to tell him about his secret love and Lewis will have to be supportive while they ride off into the sunset. Meanwhile, Lewis will die alone with his Vat 69. “I hope it works out for you, of course.”

“You have no idea do you?” Dick asks calmly. His eyes look bright and he’s got a beautiful smile on his face. Lewis was so screwed.

“I don’t know about a lot of things,” Lewis admits. “I _can_ read a map though.”

Lewis startles when Dick’s hand moves up to cup his cheek.

“This okay?” Dick whispers.

Lewis nods. He did not even remotely see this coming but he is so totally on board with this.

Dick’s lips are warm and soft. It’s such a gentle press of lips but it’s the most erotic thing that Lewis has ever experienced. He’s completely intoxicated by it.

When they pull apart he can see Dick is smiling softly. Lewis’ heart does something weird and complicated in his chest.

“Uh,” Lewis says. “How long?”

“Lew,” Dick says fondly. “How long have we known each other?”

“Since we were four.”

“I can’t say I knew what love was then, but I’m sure that’s when it started.”

“Why now?”

“A little angry birdie may have accidentally said something during one of his rants,” Dick admits. “And I was tired of waiting.”

“My heart says to stay here and keep kissing you,” Lewis says. “My head says let’s go fight Ron and stick his head in the toilet.”

Dick laughs. “There’s time for that later.”

“Yes, dear.”

~~~

“Should we tell them we’ve been dating for months?” Carwood asks.

“Nope,” Ron replies. “Where’s the fun in that, my dear?”

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be for something else but now I'm gifting it to my best friend. Thanks for being the Nix to my Speirs.


End file.
